The Road To Hell

So my 30-days-of-blogging extravaganza came to a screeching halt on the 15th when life intervened in the form of malware.

I am going to go ahead and give myself a big fat pass for missing the last five days because, well, just because. We all of us sometimes need to just forgive ourselves for not following through. It doesn't matter a bit sometimes why we don't follow through. In my case, a substantial malware infection, a yoga teacher training weekend, and a renovation intervened, not in that order, but even if I just felt like taking the weekend off because it was a gorgeous two days strung together, that's good, too.

This yoga weekend was not particularly fabulous for me, on a couple different levels, but the one thing I had reaffirmed was that it's really important to figure out what it is you want and go for that. The guest teacher talked about the word "should" as the heavy cat-o-nine that we flagellate ourselves with. He called it "shouldistic behavior" and said we were "shoulding" all over ourselves, two clever plays on words to indicate the painful and grotesque ways in which we sometimes attempt to motivate ourselves.

This applies even when your intentions are good. If you say things like "I should exercise more," then maybe your inner anti-cheerleader is talking shit in your head about how flabby you are. Maybe it's comparing you to the toned arms or buff abs of other people. In this way you perpetuate the cycle of feeling badly about yourself instead of focusing at the core of why you aren't doing what you feel you "should" be doing.

And here is (one of the places)  where the teacher and I parted ways. He said that motivation is about changing the word "should" to the word "want," and then everything will be just peachy. Turns out that is kind of bullshit. I have studied what motivates people for the past 18 years and have found unequivocally that just changing the words, although that may be a start, is not nearly enough to change the behavior. Even just changing the behavior (like forcing yourself to exercise more) doesn't really silence the anti-cheerleader or change the internal dialogue.

And here's the unfortunate punchline: motivation is a complex issue that I have no answer to (nor do experts, really. Just suggestions.). Neither did the speaker in the workshop (although he seemed to feel that he had the only answer, and any time there were objections it meant the objector just wasn't ready for his message or the objector was lying to themselves or  some other something. I felt like this teacher's ethos was very deeply rooted in est, the cult founded by Werner Erhard. I can speak directly to my interpretation of his premise because my father forced the entire family to go to an est weekend when I was younger, and the humiliation of that remains a vivid memory).

In other (somewhat depressing) words, motivation is unique to each person and can change over time. Key components to following through seem to be a mix of factors that are both internal and external. People who spend their lives being externally motivated (by gold stars as a child in school, by money in a job, or by compliments on appearance) may find themselves at a loss should (when) those external things disappear. Internal (intrinsic) motivation is far more valuable in the long run but far harder to cultivate, especially in a culture that is so comparative (and competitive)  in nature.  And, as evidenced by this weekend's computus interruptus, internal motivation can still be affected by the vagaries of life.

And here's where the rubber meets the road to hell:

"Notice that the stiffest tree is most  easily cracked, while the bamboo or willow survives by bending with the wind." ~Bruce Lee~

It's good to have goals and develop persistence and internal motivation. It is satisfying to meet the bar we set for ourselves.

What's not good is beating ourselves up when shit happens. What's not good is comparing what we are doing to what other people are doing. What's not good is "shoulding" all over ourselves to the point where we are a puddly mess, incapable of taking the shape of the next move (that's  a Wonder Twins reference).

So today I am back on the road to hell. Expect blogs this week covering writing like a motherfucker and why Deepak Chopra made me cry. But if it doesn't happen, that's fine, too.

Have a beautiful week. Or don't. Either way, don't beat yourself up.

Namaste.

(image source)

 

Yoga For Detoxification

Today's blog is brought to you by guest blogger Lori Batcheller of Northwest Pharmacy. It isn't often, never until now, actually, that I will put up a guest post, but I like this one. The Food Babe has sort of ruined the word "toxins," but the fact is that our bodies do processes quite a bit of junk from our food and the air around us. We don't need to fast or juice or do anything of that. Even when we eat terribly and sit around too much, our gorgeous organs are busy, busy, making the bad stuff go away.

However.

There are yoga poses and exercises that you can do to help them speed it along. And it wouldn't kill you to have some carrots instead of chips, or some tangy spring greens, every now and then.

Drink a glass of water, then do a couple of these daily. All of them if you are feeling particularly rambunctious. And for those of you who aren't big on reading, there is a handy infographic and lots of pictures. See you tomorrow!

Kundalini Kriyas to Detox

Our bodies and minds are naturally designed to serve us throughout our lives: We take in nourishment through food and drink, process information and sort through what is most important, and experience a deluge of emotions, which keeps life interesting. When we get adequate rest, drink plenty of fluids, eat healthy whole foods, allow emotions to flow naturally, and keep stress levels low, we can manage what life presents us more easily.

In reality, most of us do not eat an ideal diet free of processed foods and rich in organic fresh fruits vegetables, hormone-free fish and meat, and whole grains. Many of us do not drink the eight 8-ounce glasses of fluid recommended by the Institute of Medicine. Some of us may have learned to block emotions and shut down rather than allow them to move through fully, so we stick to negative patterns or become numb. And while the body is designed to naturally remove toxins that enter through the air we breath, food we ingest, and experiences we face, today’s overwhelming pace of life and frequent ongoing stress make it difficult for the body and mind to do what they were designed to do.

“Toxins are everywhere: in our water, in the air, even in the foods we eat,” says Deborah Fryer, a certified Kundalini and vinyasa yoga teacher in Boulder, Colorado. “When we’re in good health and stress free, our bodies are designed to rid us of these chemicals through an intricate detoxification system.”

What is Detoxification?

Detoxification is the body’s natural process of neutralizing, transforming, or clearing out unwanted materials or toxins. The liver, kidney, colon, lungs, skin, and lymph system all play essential roles in this process. As the major detoxifier of the body, the liver deactivates and removes harmful substances we ingest, including food additives, harmful minerals, toxic medication, and excess hormones. The kidneys filter out excess salt and waste from cell metabolism, in additional to regulating water fluid levels. The colon, also known as the large intestine, rids the body of leftovers from digestion in the form of solid waste (feces). Through exhalation, the lungs rid the body of carbon dioxide, a byproduct of breathing. As the body’s largest organ, the skin removes crystal waste products through sweating. Finally, the lymphatic system, part of the body’s circulatory system, helps rid the body of toxins, waste, and other unwanted materials with the help of white blood cells.

How Yoga Can Help Us Detoxify

Detoxification isn’t just about ridding the body of physical toxins. Yoga, an ancient system of pranayama (breathing exercises), asana (postures), and meditation (mindfulness) can aid the body and mind to cleanse both physical and emotional excess.

“All yoga is good for detoxifying,” Fryer says, “because all yoga incorporates movement, pranayama, and relaxation, which are all necessary. Yoga creates a safe space for emotional letting go as well, which has a huge effect on our ability to digest and be nourished by the food we eat.”

Yoga is an ideal practice to help the body and mind detoxify, according to Dr. Arielle Schwartz, a clinical psychologist and certified Kripalu Yoga instructor. “By stretching and squeezing the muscles of the body, yoga massages the organs, stimulates lymph and blood flow, enhances breathing, and invites release of blocked emotions," Schwartz says. “Yoga’s focus on the body and breath also help purge the mind of unnecessary thoughts.”

While all forms of yoga ultimately help the detoxification process, the following Kundalini kriyas (or exercise sets) and yoga postures are especially helpful. When practicing any form of yoga, stop immediately if you experience pain, modify the pose according to your body, move onto the next, or simply rest.

Kundalini Kriyas for Detoxification

Fryer recommends the following kriyas, as taught by Yogi Bhajan, to help the mind and body detoxify. During each exercise, focus on strong breath and movement.

1. Lie down on the back with legs straight, heels together, and toes pointed upward. Spread the feet apart so they both point out to the sides, the right foot pointing to the right and the left foot pointing to the left. Close the feet so they once again point straight upward. Continue quickly opening and closing the feet, keeping the heels together. Continue this movement for 4 minutes.

Detox details: This exercise detoxifies the leg channels associated with the spleen, liver, and kidney.

2. Remain on the back and place the hands under the head. Lift the legs about two feet from the floor and scissor them up and down. Keep the legs straight at the knees and keep the heels from touching the ground. Continue this movement for 4 minutes. (Suzannah's note: Be sure to engage the abdominal muscles to support the legs, not the low back. If you need help doing that, place your hands under your hips.)

Detox details: When done vigorously, this exercise clears up inner anger.

3. Lie on the stomach with the hands under the shoulders and the fingers spread wide. Tuck the elbows towards the sides of the body and stick out the tongue. On an exhale through the mouth, push up into Cobra Pose. On an inhale through the mouth, lower back down until the chin touches the ground. Continue this movement for 6 1/2 minutes.

Detox details: This exercise removes toxins from the body by stretching the muscles around the liver.

4. Turn over onto the back, draw the knees to the chest, and take a moment to rest. As the knees touch the chest, raise the arms up to 90 degrees, keeping them parallel to each other. Straighten the legs and lower the arms and legs back to the floor at the same time. Maintain control as you move vigorously so there is no noise when the arms and legs touch the ground. Continue this movement for 3 minutes.

Detox details: This exercise helps to eliminate emotional debris. Give yourself permission to experience your feelings.

5. Sit in Easy Pose with the legs crossed, palms on the knees. Twist the torso around the base of the spine in a counter-clockwise direction, then return to center. Continue for 3 minutes, moving as quickly as you can during the last minute. Keep the eyes soft, with a downward gaze. (Suzannah's note: Be protective of your low back again by engaging abdominals and twisting from the base of the spine.)

Detox details: This exercise is especially good for detoxifying the organs of the abdominal region.

6. Stand up, bend over, and grab the ankles. While holding onto the ankles, come into a squat with the legs shoulder width apart, feet flat on the ground, and the toes pointing outward. Continue to move between standing and squatting for 2 minutes.

Detox details: In addition to assisting the body in eliminating toxins, this exercise invites the flow of love and compassion. (Suzannah's note: And couldn't we all use a little more of that?)

7. Sit comfortably in Easy Pose with the spine straight. Chant “Sat Nam, Sat Nam, Sat Nam, Sat Nam, Sat Nam, Sat Nam, Wahe Guru,” with one full repetition of the mantra taking 7 to 8 seconds. Continue for 11 minutes.

Detox details: Sat Nam, often translated as “Truth is my identity,” helps the mind enter a deeply meditative state. Wahe Guru basically means “Praise to the teacher.”

8. To finish, inhale deeply and stretch the arms overhead with the palms touching. Hold the breath 20 to 40 seconds while stretching the spine upward. Exhale. Repeat this sequence two more times.

Flow through the following asanas to promote detoxification of mind, body, and emotions. When completing the following postures, breathe deeply through the nostrils and keep the breath smooth and flowing.

Seated Spinal Twist (Ardha Matsyendrasana)

This asana massages all the organs of digestion and elimination, including the kidney, liver, colon, and spleen, which is part of the lymph system.

Sit with the legs extended, hands resting on the floor at your sides. Feel the bones of the pelvis connect down to the earth and lengthen through the spine, from the tailbone to the crown of the head. Bend the left knee and place the sole of the left foot to the inside of the right thigh. Tuck the right foot under the buttocks. Wrap the right arm around the left knee and pull the belly to the left with the left hand. Bring the left hand around behind you and place it near the buttocks. On an exhale, begin to twist deeper to the left first in the belly, then the chest, the neck, and the eyes. On the inhale, gently lengthen more from the tailbone to the crown of the head. Take several deep breaths, deepening your awareness into the sensations provided by the pose. To release, inhale the left arm to shoulder height and draw it forward, gently straighten the legs, and shake them before repeating the twist to the other side.



Note: If you cannot wrap the elbow around your knee, hold the raised knee with the opposite hand. You can also keep the bottom leg straight if bending it under the buttocks feels like too much of a stretch on the hip. (Suzannah's note: You will know it's too much if your hip of the leg beneath you pops off the ground. Or else your hip will hurt like hell. Either way.)

Staff Pose (Dandasana)

This asana encourages good posture through lengthening the spine, allowing the lungs to fully expand and contract with each breath.

Sit with the legs extended out in front of you. Place the palms flat on the floor beside the hips and press them into the ground, keeping the arms as straight as possible. Lengthen from the tailbone to the crown of the head, as if you had a zipper in front of and behind the spine. Draw the shoulder blades down the back and tuck the chin slightly. Flex the feet and engage the leg muscles. Take five deep breaths into the chest, noticing the expansion and contraction of the lungs.

Legs-Up-the-Wall Pose (Viparita Karani)

As an inversion, this pose places the head below the heart and encourages the lymph fluid to drain back to the heart via gravity.

Place the short edge of the yoga mat, if you’re using one, against a wall. Place a folded blanket or bolster on the mat next to the wall. Sit sideways to the wall, on the bolster or blanket, with the hands behind you. Shift the forearms onto the yoga mat and extend the legs up the wall. Allow the hips to sink into the bolster or blanket, the legs to rest against the wall, the eyes to close, and the face to relax. Remain in this position five to 15 minutes.

To release, gently draw your knees into your chest, and roll to one side.



While we can’t always prevent stressful situations and harmful toxins from entering our systems, we can support the body’s natural detoxifying process through the age-old practice of yoga.

 

Lori Batcheller

Lori Batcheller, MA, CYT, MPT, LMT, is a certified Kripalu Yoga instructor and freelance writer living in Boulder, CO. When she’s not writing, teaching yoga, or offering bodywork at her private practice, she is outdoors enjoying the beauty of the Rocky Mountains.

Common Courtesy

I started this post earlier in the week, but it got ranty and you-kids-get-off-my-lawn pretty fast, so I stepped back and am trying again.

The simple fact is this: the title of this post is an oxymoron. Common courtesy is uncommon, largely because we exist in our own little bubble and don't bother to look up from our screens long enough to recognize how we are impacting those around us.

From the person who lets the door slam in your face when you are coming in right behind them to the guy who leans his seat all the way back for seven hours on a transatlantic flight (during the day, including dinner service) to the person who takes up two parking spaces in a crowded lot. From the weird practice of walking around in a grocery store listening to (bad) music...without head phones...to the neighbor who decides to hang some pictures at 7:30 on a Sunday morning.

To everyone reading this or picking up the common vibrations of these words I say this: practice a little courtesy today. Before you get ready to do something, think for a moment about how it might impact the people around you. Not in a cosmic, climate-changing, evolutionary way. In a very simple, right-here-right-now way. Put down your cell phone and engage with the world around you. Say please and thank you. Hold the door for someone. Let old people go first. Let mothers with children go first. Pick up something someone dropped. Put your dishes away after you eat.

It is ridiculously easy to do something nice. You don't even have to go out of your way or be inconvenienced. Let's take approximately zero seconds out of our day today (or this weekend if you can't spare zero seconds) to offer up a little courtesy to someone.

As Garrison Keillor says as he closes his show The Writer's Almanac: "Be well, do good work, and stay in touch."

As a common courtesy and to spread the love, please share this post on your various social networks. Maybe we can get something started today.

(image source)

Spark It Up: NaBloPoMo

Today is April 1st, and already I have been the victim of a very well-played practical joke by my friend Andrew Odom. Turns out, you can't actually believe everything you read on the internet.

I'd like to say that this is an April Fool's Joke, but what I am about to write is true and a bi-annual occurrence. In April and November, I commit myself to writing a blog a day for 30 days. Formally known as NaBloPoMo, the official span is just in November, but I think April is a great 30-day time to do it as well. I wrote my book in 30 days in April 2012 (took another year and a half to edit and publish), and every time I force myself to the discipline of keyboard and blogging, it tends to spark things up a bit, something that is necessary right about now.

I can say in all honesty that I am not even remotely excited for this at this point; everything about my being has tended to the sludge-like, the monotonous, the tedium of daily routine. I feel like molasses uphill in January; yoga has become a chore that I have to get through (and I always feel better after, but still), and although my mercenary writing life is fine, my personal projects have come to a standstill as I actively avoid looking at what I am supposed to be doing.

So I read Steinbeck's six tips on writing, and this is what stuck:

"Abandon the idea that you are ever going to finish. Lose track of the 400 pages and write just one page for each day, it helps. Then when it gets finished, you are always surprised."

His rules mostly apply to his fiction, but there is extreme value in this rule. Abandon the hope of being done; writers know that a) it's never done, and b) even when it's finished it's still not "done." Just one piece of my own writing daily is my goal, even something beyond this blog. A paragraph. A line.

I am in a funk, no doubt, and 30 days, two more days than rehab, may be enough to get me out. At least until November.

Bloggers, won't you join me?

(Image)

Mark Strand: Lines For Winter

Mark Strand, Pulitzer-prize-winning poet, died today, and I'll be damned if he didn't write just about the best poem to encapsulate my mood. His other poems are equally gorgeous and spare in tone, but this one is particularly timely for me.

Lines For Winter 

Tell yourself
as it gets cold and gray falls from the air
that you will go on
walking, hearing
the same tune no matter where
you find yourself --
inside the dome of dark
or under the cracking white
of the moon's gaze in a valley of snow.
Tonight as it gets cold
tell yourself
what you know which is nothing
but the tune your bones play
as you keep going. And you will be able
for once to lie down under the small fire
of winter stars.
And if it happens that you cannot
go on or turn back and you find yourself
where you will be at the end,
tell yourself
in that final flowing of cold through your limbs
that you love what you are.

Offered without commentary today simply because I can't quite encapsulate the sneakiness of grief, almost two years later, as Christmas lights twinkle and the weather gets darker. This is why we have poets: to say what we mean, and mean what we say.

What are you telling yourself these days?

(Image)

Friday Is Science Day

Struggling to come up with a Friday post. In the interest of staying the NaBloPoMo course, though, I here present to you a video for work-watching, should you need a diversion.

In a nod the House's ridiculous passage of the anti-science bill that would forbid scientists from advising the EPA based on their ow research, I offer lighter fare, a lovely TEDTalk on the science of happiness. Enjoy!

[embed]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4q1dgn_C0AU[/embed]

10 Ways To Waste Time So You Almost Miss Your Daily #NaBloPoMo

1. Get published on Elite Daily and spend a couple hours refreshing your feed to see if anyone else has read the article yet (sidebar: the picture is not mine, and the title is definitely not mine).

2. Watch the first episode of season 2 of Dream School. Uh-mazing. Mind-blowing.

3. Watch and share the episode of Good Mythical Morning that has a picture of Sicily's tiny house.

4. Go to yoga, the overly-gentle class because you hurt your stupid wrist in two back-to-back classes last week that were too intense for you at this point and can now only do intermediate classes every other day until the carpal tendon in your wrist stops tingling and then being numb. #TheDumb

5. Walk the dogs. Realize that even though it's sunny and gorgeous outside there is some weird polar vortex of swirling death happening that makes it about 15 degrees colder than it ought to be and that you should have brought your coat. Suffer because you're stubborn and the dogs need a walk.

6. Finish the work that actually pays you money. Try to get more work that actually pays you money. Research ways to do that very thing. Get distracted by chickens in sweaters. Damn you, NerdyBaby!!

7. Share the hell out of an IndieGoGo that helps inner city kids get to college and stay there. Give more money than you can afford.

8. Buy milk. Finally.

9. Download and read summaries of Laurie Colwin's books. Don't buy them because you are saving pennies for New York. Break down and go to the bookstore and when you don't find them, go buy Dark Places by Gillian Flynn because you can never have too many books and your stupid books are packed in the basement in boxes that the cat may or may not be peeing on because you've noticed that the litter box isn't nearly as dirty as it should be for an indoor cat, and it's either that or the dog is helping out. #GoodBoy

10. Finally sit down to write the damn thing and end up submitting more writing that you have already done to be featured on another blog that promotes blogs. See #6

BLAMMO. I knocked you OUT NaBloPoMo. Just 18 more days to go.

(Image. Get it? Under the wire?)

Still I Rise

 

It's 9:48 in the morning on a weekday, and I am in bed. I got up earlier and took The Kid to school, came home and wrote a little, then just decided to get back into bed.

I can do that, most days, but I choose not to. Today, I am stressed by the bids we have been getting to rehab the house, tired from consistent poor sleeping, and entering hibernation mode as I do this time every year. I just want to sleep, watch TV, and make soup.

This becomes problematic when one is trying to get anything done.

This also becomes problematic when one feels one has to justify one's ability to go back to bed mid-morning on what most people consider a work day.

I, too, consider it a work day. I just work differently, I guess. Everything is different, though. I am not the same person I was a year ago. I am not in the same house, state, job, thought space. Part of this feels like depression, but part of it feels like taking stock, exploring, and getting ready for the next thing. It's grief, in an odd stage that doesn't have as much crying, which is nice for making other people feel comfortable, but this grief has a short fuse. It requires the time and space to process bits of things at a time.

So when I go back to bed I try not to be hard on myself for doing so. I will get back up.

"Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise." 

(Image)

NaBloPoMo

It is that time of year...

Thirty days of blogs whether I (or you) like it or not. Some people write  a novel in November; some people grow their beard. I am going to blog.

They won't all be long because...well, just because sometimes I just don't want to.

Like today. The day after Halloween. An hour before The Child and I are supposed to go to a bar mitzvah, and it is a blustery, stay-in-be-all-day-and-watch-movies kind of day. Plus Dia de los Muertos, which in America means 50% all Halloween candy.

So. Here is my favorite time-wasting video from the interwebs to celebrate.

[embed]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLt5rBfNucc[/embed]