Here is my list of things I cannot stand, and beside those, in parentheses, are the most important things that I am trying to focus on when she does those things I cannot stand.
(this is all part of trying to keep the most important thing the most important thing)
- She is addicted to sugar (She always gives me the first bite if I ask, like her daddy).
- She is blind to a filthy bathroom (She will clean it if I ask)
- I ALWAYS have to ask (She will clean it if I ask)
- She watches dumb crap on YouTube/Tumblr (She has a wide knowledge base on surprising things, like the times she is able to interject with information in conversation, and she is able to hold her own in conversation with pretty much anyone on nearly any topic, and she isn't afraid to say she doesn't know something)
- She talks back (She talks back. She doesn't take shit. She stands up for herself.)
- She is a slob (She already knows that an impeccably clean house isn't the most important thing)
- She leaves her crap lying all around (She will share anything she has with you)
- She is unmotivated (Well, shit, aren't we all? Let's not walk around all high and mighty like we somehow sprung full-blown motivated from Zeus's thigh. That's bullshit. Any time someone talks badly about adolescents and motivation I want to poke them in the eye. Do you remember 13? Probably not, but there wasn't a whole bunch of popping out of bed and tackling the day at that age for you either. So shut it)
- She spends money on dumb stuff like endless amounts of makeup (She earns and saves her own money, about twice as much as the allowance she gets monthly, and she told me last night that when she is rich she is going to buy me a car)
- She doesn't do what I would have her do (She is her own person and is okay with figuring out who that is and following what she wants)
When Sicily was going through a particularly awful time around 18 months, not sleeping, screaming and being generally horrible, and my patience was particularly thin due to exhaustion, I made a list of all of the things she could say and do, and all of the things she liked. Every time we would have little spurts like that, I would go back to the list and read over it and that helped me gain some perspective on the speed bump or whatever was happening. This is sort of like that except there is nothing particularly bad happening, just me watching her grow and finding myself getting impatient at times and being irritable (probably more about me than her) I love her. I have faith in her. I know she is going to be amazing. Never hurts to have a list.